pain is here

Автор: Юлія Лапушанська

moments
of pain


my dad cursing me
and my married life

my mom stopping me
to go out to work

my boss
having fun of me
and not paying enough

me
being trapped on the work
and not able to study in the university
because of it



EMOTIONS
they have abandoned me
: leaving me into clinic


JUST MAKING ACTIONS
INSTEAD OF ASKING
HOW ARE YOU
what happened
why have you done this
exactly


father
leaving me
forever

father
finding something else
more


pain
me being not able
to provide
a father to my child

me being unable to make anything
to save myself

being trapped
into the closed room

.

fura
receiving money
for being saved
physically
but not anymore

me
being totally misunderstood by the reaction
of D
on sexual abuse
two of them


being said
i make everything not right
and i should stop it
and crying in
toilet and reading Bible
for hours

church committee
saying 
i make everything wrong on eyes of my mother
each of them



/reason - jealousy/
throughs: i am not good
enough
no one love me
and my church hate me the most

being crucified
for not knowing the law
by heart
at the presence
of many people


LITTLE GIRL
ALL OF THESE PEOPLE
WANTED TO
HAVE A LEADER ON MISSION
OR TO BE ON A MISSION
AT ALL

ABD YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN

TO BE LEADING IT
IN THE CENTRE
MAIN TOWN
OF THE WHOLE COUNTRY

SURE
THEY WERE JELOUS

/:

little girl
they were shocked by power
and fast you grow

they were shocked
by how fast you move
how Holy Spirit moves through you